And we're back!

These little pups are named "Rex" and "Matilda." I do not care for their blanket, I must admit, because I do not care for the Southwest design motif, at all. I hope that's just an old blanket that someone doesn't care about and that's why it's covering two puppies in the grass. Also, Matilda looks like she is wearing a big earring, like a pirate.

Also, are they in love or are they brother and sister? I think they are brother and sister. I wonder if one is older than the other and if they compete with each other on weird things like who can hide the most bones in the yard, or who can run around the longest without getting a drink of water.

As you may have heard, I myself am an only child so I did not have to compete with any other little children who happened to live in my house. And my cousins were boys and we just beat up on each other alot but never really competed at anything except Nintendo, and that tended to be very tame if at all. But there was a game that I really liked and was very competitive at and that was Monopoly.

I was around 9 when I started getting interested in Monopoly. And when I was interested in something I became fanatically obsessed with it. To become obsessed with one's interests is a trait of only children, if you did not know that. I had this old version of Monopoly that I discovered lying about the house that was missing pieces and some of the money and it was kinda faded and it had a spider web in it and it was gross but i really liked it. And I became so obsessed with Monopoly that I played it all the time and read this book about it over and over and over and memorized every single piece of real estate and how much every single fee was, regardless of how many houses and hotels the property had. And my little friend Kimmy Jo Johnson would come over and we would play Monopoly for hours and hours and I think I pissed her off because I was such a know-it-all about Monopoly and I must have been a holy terror to play with. And when she wasn't around I played with "Bill" who was not a real person, wasn't even represented by a doll or a pillow or anything, "Bill" was just my Monopoly partner, and I would make all the decisions for "Bill" like "oh yes of course Maymee I will give you Boardwalk for your Purples" (which in actuality is NOT a trade I would ever make because the purples are worthless and Boardwalk is practically never landed on and I know that because I used to read BOOKS about Monopoly) or "oh yes you can roll again that was clearly a bad roll" and stuff like that. And oddly enough I beat poor Bill all the time. He beat me once I think and I was so damn mad about it I vowed to never play with him again and then realized that that was totally absurd because 1) if I coudln't play with Bill who the hell woudl I play with, no one and 2) Um....Bill is not actually real maymee, so you actually just beat yourself in Monopoly. And I think after that weirdo incident I decided to play more fairly with dear Bill, and my enjoyment, as well as my skill at the game, improved exponentially.

Some of my friends played Monopoly at my house the other day, but instead of playing, I took a nap.

A Kitten...

Ok, without further ado, this tiny kitten's name is "Detective Frankie Meow Meow." At first I thought he was a girl, but after all of these recent forays into gender bending I've been having I decided to give him another look, and this kitten is most certainly a boy. In fact, he is a Sleuth!! He is trying to solve the mystery of why his owner is so fat and has such a huge hand!! I'll tell you why, it's because he eats all the pop tarts all day! Gross! Do you know what is in those things? Nothing real I'll you that for sure. And look, it turns you into a mutant and makes your limbs and things grow into ginormous pinchers like something from CHUD. In fact, I think that guy should have Detective Frankie taken away from him.

My favorite pet in the whole wide world was Steiner and she was a calico cat and she was older than I was in people years when she died. She was 21 and she had two litters and lived with another cat with feline leukemia but never went to the doctor once in her whole long life. And she and I were little buddies b/c we were about the same age and both thought the dog was a dumb spoiled brat who took all of mom's attention and so we saw eye to eye on all kinds of things. One day we got a new dog who was just too hyper and Steiner was old and cantankerous by then and hated everyone but me and so she was like "Dudes, I'm outta here!" and so she went and she passed away in the bath tub. Oh I just loved that cat so much. I still dream about her like she is still alive.

CHUD is my favorite horror movie.

What will Aunt Maymee say today?!

This kid looks like a "Ginny" to me.

Now that the name has been popularized by Harry Potter, I suspect alot of children will be named "Ginny." I think naming things/dogs/people names from literature is infinetely cooler than naming them names from the soaps. Seriously, there was a guy on my soap named "Thorn." Really? Thorn? You know that's not a real name, even if you do come from a family of fashion designers. And I think Thorn had a brother named Storm, but he was pretty inconsequential to the show.

OK, I wonder where little Ginny is now. What could she be doing, where does she live? Does she still like the snow? Do her clothes have hearts on them? Does she like to sing? Is she gregarious? Does she drink alot or have lots of beaus? I have pictures of myself from when I was little in my cubicle, and my co worker likes to trick people into thinking it's someone else and gets them to comment on the picture. You'd think she was sadistic, but most of the time it's just funny. Like the one time an unsuspecting co worker said "Oh that kid looks like she would grow up to be a person with a big nose." Which is funny because I do NOT have a big nose, as evidenced by my picture to the right of this blog. If I DID have a big nose, that would not have been funny I spose, but I guess now we'll never know.

Personally I think I look JUST the same as I did in that picture when I was 2 1/2 and I do NOT look like I would grow up to have a big nose.

Ginny looks like she'd be into winter sports.

Off to a good start this week...

Today I am listening a strange playlist I discovered on my ipod that is all hip hop and rap, and it has subsequently influenced me to name this elephant “T Master Stomp Stomp.” “T” sure is skinny, isn’t he? He needs to eat some of Todd the gerbil’s shredded wheat. “Now Maymee!” you say, “You don’t strike me as a HIP HOP and RAP kinda gal!” Well dear reader, you are correct. I am not. I like showtunes and other music that’s generally considered pretty dullsville. But this is not my fault! I am technically slow! Most of the music on my ipod was actually put on there by someone else, and I lack the basic skills to change it. It’s easy! you say. Well if it were so flippin easy, explain how someone with a bachelor’s degree managed to lose about 300 of her songs, rename half of her playlists “Playlist 1”(which does NOT make me happy), and inexplicably dump TWO of her beloved audiobooks, simply by “Synching with Library!” Aren’t you SUPPOSED to synch with the library! Ugh. I hate everything. I have no idea where this playlist came from or who put it on there. Apparently I should keep a better eye on “Harry” (that’s my ipod’s name) than I have been. I mean, I like all these songs, they are pretty nifty and I feel like I’ve grown as a person in the world just listening to them. But oh my! They are not mine!! What shall I do? Do you know I don’t even post my own posts! A little angel named Dice does it for me! Thanks Dice!

Ha ha! I bet you had no IDEA I had a BA. Guess what it’s in.

Now, they say elephants never forget.

Do you think they forgive?

Day #....I forget

Oh how adorable this little pony is! Isn’t an adorable little pony every little girl’s birthday dream? My birthday was on Thursday, but I did not receive a pony. I did, however, receive a copy of "Atonement" which I guess is the grown up version of a pony, because I really really wanted it, and I did in fact squeal an extremely high-pitched and delighted squeal when I got it, and then I sort of danced around and hugged the box a lot. But, unlike a pony, I was able to display my new copy of "Atonement" on my mantle. At any rate, if a guest HAD shown up with a pony for my birthday, I would have ridden it around.

Everybody knows every horse is REALLY named "Cinnamon," but humans will inevitably try and personify the creature somehow by giving it a people name. This minature pony’s people name is "Li’l Ruby Saddle"and everyone calls her that, unless you are talking to her little pony friends "Cinnamon" and "Cinnamon," who refer to her as "Cinnamon."

I once met a minature person at the fair. I really did. Can you believe such a thing happened? There was a barker and everything. And she wasn’t a little person she described herself as a minature person. And she WAS very very tiny. She was about 2'5" tall and my dad and I went to talk to her in this weird tent on the Midway and she was standing on a box next to her itsy bitty rocking chair and she told us all about her life and it was all very bizarre. She gave me a post card.

One other time at the fair I met Fat Albert. AND there used to be a Butter Cow, but I think it melted or something. .

Day #9

Welcome to the world "Lois Pambley!" Someday in the future you will get braces and teeth whitening, your hair will receive extensive extensions, you'll be persuaded to get lasik surgery and stop wearing your glasses, and you'll eat lettuce for a month because Brad is coming to visit.

But until then, you are beautiful! Keep playing with worms and writing stories about dragon people and talking to "The Snod" who you are convinced lives in the bush in front of your house and missing the bus at least three times a week and making goals for the other team and dreaming of being a forensic pathologist when you grow up because you like horror movies. Just keep doing that. Because you are like, rad. Don't get any ideas, this post is only semi-autobiographical.

Day #8

Momma is “Genevive” and baby is “Helga” because they both look like they might just up and start to yodel. And those sound like yodelin’ names to me.