Ok, without further ado, this tiny kitten's name is "Detective Frankie Meow Meow." At first I thought he was a girl, but after all of these recent forays into gender bending I've been having I decided to give him another look, and this kitten is most certainly a boy. In fact, he is a Sleuth!! He is trying to solve the mystery of why his owner is so fat and has such a huge hand!! I'll tell you why, it's because he eats all the pop tarts all day! Gross! Do you know what is in those things? Nothing real I'll you that for sure. And look, it turns you into a mutant and makes your limbs and things grow into ginormous pinchers like something from CHUD. In fact, I think that guy should have Detective Frankie taken away from him.
My favorite pet in the whole wide world was Steiner and she was a calico cat and she was older than I was in people years when she died. She was 21 and she had two litters and lived with another cat with feline leukemia but never went to the doctor once in her whole long life. And she and I were little buddies b/c we were about the same age and both thought the dog was a dumb spoiled brat who took all of mom's attention and so we saw eye to eye on all kinds of things. One day we got a new dog who was just too hyper and Steiner was old and cantankerous by then and hated everyone but me and so she was like "Dudes, I'm outta here!" and so she went and she passed away in the bath tub. Oh I just loved that cat so much. I still dream about her like she is still alive.
CHUD is my favorite horror movie.
